98. "Jewish Self-loathing"

 

I'll never get this one straight. Here are these Jews. They've got this nice religion with all that wonderful food and great jokes. You tell me they hate it. OK, I can believe that, though it's hard. They hate doing Hanukkah or something. But then this smart fellow tells me no, it's not the religion they're sitting there hating, it's themselves! And they all nod their heads as if they understand.

Well, I don't understand. If you're bothered by something hateful you do something about it. You go after it or you go away. If something you are doing or thinking or feeling bothers you you quit doing or thinking or feeling it. The best you can. You don't just sit there.

Comprehension is going to be so difficult here that I think I'd better start way back, with what I'm sure I understand. That's the statement, "I hate myself for X." If I don't know what the speaker is referring to I can ask him.

But the vague "I hate myself"?  I know that there are a lot of things in this area, like doubting ourselves, or accusing ourselves, or feeling sorry for ourselves that are vaguely expressed but which have references we can dig out, and justify the doubt or accusation or pity but hating ourselves? That's tough.

It would be easier if those smart fellows had found a word other than "hate." It's so strong. After I feel dissatisfaction with myself, or disapproval, or disappointment, what's left? I can't see anything to justify "hatred," much less "loathing," which some go on to. "He's filled with self-loathing," Is that a sustainable emotion?  How does he stay filled? That would be very hard. He's going against nature. Self-loving, the not-always-admirable thing you're sure to find in your neighbor, is the natural condition.

We get to the end of the line in talk between Jews about behavior in Israel. One says to another, "You sure picked a bad time — say during an American election — to beat up on Palestinians, or expand the settlements," or whatever, and what does the other answer? Not, "Why do you hate me?" That would be good Smothers Brothers theater, weird but understandable. No, after being told that his diplomatic shirttail is out he comes back with, "Why do you hate yourself? That's really weird.